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I read something about jealousy the other day and it said, "The root of jealousy is fear and sadness." I wondered if there was anyone out there sharing the positive side of jealousy. All I got was, "Jealousy is just a lack of self-confidence".
Come on guys! There is more to it than that. This stuff is certainly true, but in my eyes it is certainly not at the "root" of jealousy. It's below the surface all right, but if you dive a little deeper you will be amazed at what you may discover!
The very best and most memorable description I have ever come across about feeling jealous, was in a dutch book called "365 days of success" (I just translated the title) and it's written by David de Kock and Arjan Vergeer. These two guys are very motivated and on a mission to make The Netherlands the number one most happy country in the world. They are very well on their way let me tell you, their seminars and courses are fully booked, and it all starts with a great attitude!
So lets me tell you about changing your attitude towards jealousy, this is what I learnt...
Seeing as though our emotions are a very important part of our inner guidance system, it means that all that we feel is pointing us in some kind of direction, right?
I learnt from Caroline Cory that this is like our own personal navigation system. Emotions are not meant to make life more difficult, we make it that way. It's time we start learning what our emotions truly mean.
As described in the book I mentioned, "Jealousy, shines a light on our deepest desires." Doesn't that just make perfect sense? This just changes everything.
In my eyes you see, the desire comes first... and after that the fear sets in. So once we get past all that fear, can you imagine all that you may discover? Putting the focus on that part, and being true to your those inner desires feels really powerful, where as the fear part feels like it takes that power away.
A desire is not the same as a "need"...
A need is wanting something because you depend on it, or you want it because you feel like you are missing something. A desire comes from a place of love and it's your Soul just wanting to experience something, but then from the perspective that you are already whole and not needing to be made whole.
I believe that we have been programmed to feel ashamed of ever feeling jealous. It feels wrong, as if it makes you a horrible person to even feel that way. But I just want to let you know, that it is okay.
From now on, whenever feelings of jealousy come up for you, instead of beating yourself up, just take a moment to reflect on what inner desire is being awakened. What is it that you are wishing for, or are longing for? When you really take the time to get to the bottom of what your desire really is, you can start to put it all into place.
First of all you create an intention. Come up with an idea how you are going to start making changes. Get creative! Stop waiting around for things to happen and formulate very clearly what it is that you want in your life. Now you have the idea and the desire... all you need now is the belief in yourself that you can make it happen.
Then in the end you can turn around and thank the person that helped you wake up and start making your own dreams come true. Well, either that, or maybe when you had your moment of self-reflection, you came to the conclusion that you already have all that you desire and the jealousy was just an illusion.
The tricky thing about attempting to get over your jealousy, is when you try to talk yourself into feeling better about it. When you catch yourself thinking of reasons why you are still better off than the other person, or have more reasons to be happy than the other person, that is not a mind-space you want to find yourself in.
You actually have to be prepared to say, "hey, this person really does have more than I do, and that's fine." Then you know you are getting there. We don't always have to find a way to put ourselves above others, just to make ourselves feel good and worthy.
So that is one way to challenge your jealousy... but how about this one... "There is no such thing as more or better or higher up."
Now this right here is the real truth. It really is a collective consciousness issue to hang onto the belief that it is even possible to compare ourselves to others.
Caroline Cory from Omnium Universe, also explains it so clearly, "If you compare yourself to your dog, which one is better, you or the dog?" The point is that you can't say which is better, because both are just totally different", and that's exactly the same with each one of us!
How mind-blowing is it really, that each and every single one of us is absolutely unique? No two people are exactly the same. Not ever! We are infinitely different.
So please, lets never compare ourselves to one another ever again, forget about who is more or less than whatever or whoever, and only use jealousy to shine that light on our deepest desires!
Who's with me?
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